When he was a child, he lived in his hometown for a long time, but his grandmother ran around like a wild child. His grandmother was never very restrained. He called his birth name in front of the door over and over again at dinner. When he didn’t hear his response for a long time, his grandmother would come to the alley to shout, so that people in the street could hear him find him one by one. When he ran home, he could hear complaining all the way that the child was really disobedient, but when he got home, his grandmother didn’t blame him. At that time, he always complained that his grandmother had too many hands. His hands hurt after trying, but grandma still refused to let go until her hands were washed, so she let him go to the table and watched him wolf down his food, and then slowly picked up chopsticks.

Grandmother raised a few ducks at that time, which made a lot of eggs. Grandmother marinated duck eggs in a jar and cooked one for every meal. She dug up the oily duck eggs and gave them to him to eat. He didn’t know how to be grateful at that time. He felt that it was the right thing for adults to let the children go.
Grandma lived in an adobe house. The stove changed in the house, or the fire was not easy to burn in windy days. A cooking room was filled with cigarettes. Grandma left the door open so that the cigarettes could run as soon as possible, but she was choked with tears and kept squatting in front of the stove pit to blow the fire. He watched her stoop in the yard and complained that she was too slow to move. She was hungry, so she wiped her tears and said, Don’t worry, a good meal is not afraid of being late.
What grandma often does is pot slip, which is actually a kind of egg cake. When she is eating eggs, duck eggs stir the water surface into a paste and spread it on both sides of the pot. A cake is half the size of a pot. It is thin and soft. Grandma cuts the pot slip kitchen knife into small pieces and puts them in a bowl and hands them to him with chopsticks. He eats the egg cake in the yard. Every time he eats it, his tongue hurts for several days. When he is tired of it, he runs to the alley with the bowl and gives it to other children. Then he hands the bowl to grandma. I am so full that I am really tired. This little trick can’t be hidden from grandma. At this time, grandma doesn’t make a pot slip for a long time until he is greedy and can’t help but coquetry her and say that she wants to eat. Grandma will make another big pot to let him eat enough.
Grandmother, who is very careful, can’t escape her eyes. When he was bullied, he didn’t dare to say that he was eating honestly. The grandmother would definitely get to the bottom of it and then drag him to the adult to ask for an explanation. But when he came back, she took the initiative to talk about being bullied, but instead, she kept her eyes fixed. The more she looked at him, the more guilty she became, the more she closed her mouth. He bullied others first. He stopped talking and the grandmother didn’t start talking again. Even if it was over, it could be regarded as a bullied child’s adult. When looking for the door, my grandmother can always persuade people to go back in a few sentences. If she can’t persuade them to go back, she will take a handkerchief from her pocket and wrap money for the child to buy an popsicle to eat. At those times, she was afraid to come, so she peeked at the crack of the door or the window and watched her carefully back and still busy, so she never dared to get into trouble again for a long time.
At that time, he felt that his grandmother was mysterious and dignified, but it was a pity that her grandmother couldn’t read.
Grandma can’t read, but money can be counted as fine selling food, selling ducks and eggs. It’s never wrong to open her mouth. Some cunning hawkers want to fool her, but there’s no way. He followed his grandmother to catch him clamoring for walnut cake. Grandma asked how much it costs to eat a catty. The hawker replied, it’s cheaper. One piece and three bars. Grandma begged the hawker not to insist on buying a piece of five loves. Grandma said, then weigh three catties, four pieces, four pieces, five pieces, touch and touch, and then wipe out four dollars. Grandma spread her hands
At that time, he was eating walnut cakes and laughing.
When he was young, he would also teach his grandmother to read. When he took him to fly ducks, he would show off by the pond and recite the ancient poem Goose Goose Ququ. Xiang Tiange’s white hair floating green water and red palm dialing Qingbo. Grandma said that we were flying ducks to recite a duck poem. When he couldn’t recite it, his eyes turned bad and he wrote a goose word. He asked his grandmother what to read. Of course, he didn’t know him, so he proudly said that when he read this word, he would be surprised to write it like this. He would read it with his hand behind his back. My grandmother looked at her seriously and couldn
When he grew up, he remembered that these were the childhood departments, right?
Every time he goes back to visit his grandmother today, the biggest headache is what to buy. In fact, he also knows that his grandmother doesn’t care about this, but if he doesn’t buy anything, he always feels wrong or guilty. A few years ago, fortunately, his grandmother suffered from rheumatism in her left leg. When he wants to go back, he will buy some medicines for treating rheumatism, when it is Chinese medicine, he will also buy some novel instruments for treating rheumatism. At that time, he really said that he didn’t do his best or care about whether it was effective. He felt that it would make him feel better or say that he didn’t blame it,
Later, grandma got rheumatism, and the effect was to drink a small cup of Chinese medicine every day to relieve the pain, but grandma still had to rely on crutches every day. The crutch handle had been rubbed smooth and shiny by grandma’s hand, and he stopped buying drugs, even if he stopped taking them. It was a three-point poison, and I wanted to live for two more years. That’s what she said. Grandma’s tone was still tough, but he clearly heard that she was old and tasted old before she could be attached.
In the next few years, every time he went back, he would buy some water or ask his grandmother what she wanted to eat. Most of the time, she said that she didn’t want to eat anything, which made him difficult. After walking around the supermarket, she just couldn’t make up her mind and finally bought some water symbolically. Most of them were bananas and grapes. Grandma lost all her teeth a few years ago, but she didn’t wear a pair of dentures, so she put them in a bowl full of water. Every time he went back, he felt inexplicable, just like swallowing an egg alive and choking to tears.
Grandma doesn’t like eating bananas and grapes when she buys them more often. Every time she stays for a few days, she always urges her to eat and eat quickly. But when she just doesn’t eat, she says whether she will eat or not. He asks her to give water to the children in the alley, but she is unwilling to give up. So when she leaves, the bananas and grapes are rotten, she stops buying these things.
He went back several times in a hurry and didn’t buy anything. When he left, he gave his grandmother a few hundred dollars to buy something to eat. My grandmother didn’t refuse, but he didn’t. He watched her put her wallet in her handkerchief before boarding the car. My grandmother waved to him outside the car, and the car quickly turned and disappeared. He was relieved as if he had completed another project.
Later, due to work, he was transferred to another place for half a year, and when he came back, he felt that his grandmother was so old that the old lady in high spirits was gone, waiting in front of the door. He was a faltering old man with muddy eyes. When he saw him, he smiled slightly and said that my grandson was back as before. He wanted to cry at that moment. How could he have died so quickly when his grandmother was not white? He also smiled at her and walked into the room with his head down.
I heard from my family that my grandmother has suddenly lost her health and her spirit in the past six months, and she often mistook one for another or denied it at all. She went to the hospital for examination and the doctor said that she was suffering from senile diseases and could not afford to be treated again.
When they were talking, my grandmother was still squinting at the sun in front of the courtyard. Does she still recognize me? He asked uneasily.
Knowing his family or knowing all his family comforted him, so he went to help his grandmother to come back to the house, but she didn’t come back and let me stay for a while. Her tone was full of begging, so she couldn’t bear to force her to stay with her in front of the courtyard until the family called for dinner at dusk. Grandma slowly turned around and smiled at him for dinner.
Grandma eats like a child now. She can’t eat a bowl of rice seriously. She has to take a break after two bites, fiddling with chopsticks or moving the chair. Her family coaxed and ordered her to finish the meal. Now she wears dentures every day, even when she sleeps. Her family can’t finish it if they want to brush her dentures.
That night, his grandmother slept in a house. Before going to bed, she quietly took out a cloth bag from the cupboard, which was full of money. As she counted it, she muttered that it was all my grandson who gave it to me. He saved all the money for her grandmother. Grandma counted it carefully, but there was not much money at all. But even after counting it over and over again, Grandma mysteriously told him that I couldn’t let them steal the money. His eyes became red at that moment. Grandma, do you know me? He asked trembling.
Grandma looked at him carefully for a long time before she suddenly realized that this is not my grandson. When will you come back? Touch his head before you say it. He held his grandmother’s hand and said that he had just come back.
Grandma held his hand behind his back and told him stories, but they were all in the past. He had never heard of them, but he could see in these stories that when he was young, his grandmother was very young. At that time, he didn’t have him, his father or his grandmother’s grandfather didn’t know him, but he confirmed that the girl in his grandmother’s mouth was her, and her face was full of years.
Grandma took off all her clothes when she went to bed that night. Now she has no sense of shame or disdain for shame. She got into bed naked in front of him and soon fell asleep. But that night, he lost sleep. Listening to cricket calling out of the window and moonlight coming in at night, she hid her face and cried.
I don’t know why I’m crying. I don’t know. It’s like she’s about to leave me. It’s still that kind of helplessness. I can’t help myself. I’ve been trying to endure it. I buried my face in the quilt and smelled her smell. He said that at this time, I turned my head to the window. Outside the window, a flock of geese flew south in a hurry, and the grass was so yellow.
He stayed at home for a few days and then left. When he left, a shepherd came with his sheep at dusk. Smoke rose from every kitchen. His car stopped outside the village. He walked in front and his grandmother followed. When he left the village, his grandmother saw him off, the situation was exactly the same, but at that time he was still a child, not so tall and long. He bounced back and said to his grandmother with a small backpack, I will come to see you often. At that time, her grandmother smiled with satisfaction and reluctance.
Now he got out of the car and wanted his grandmother to say something, but she didn’t know him when she got up this morning. But what did she want to come with him to see herself off? He couldn’t figure it out. He waved his hand at his grandmother and just got out of the car, but at that moment he saw her through the window, and the twilight behind the tears merged.
Grandma loves tears in the wind, he finally said
It’s not far away
All sentient beings 4
In the twilight, the unclean air became more and more intense and arrogantly occupied the city, floating overhead like smoke clouds. It seems that you can touch it as soon as you reach out your hand or look up, and the dust falls on your face. On warm days, they seem to be heavier and heavier, and you can’t wait to hook them with a hook when you have the same gray cloth curtain. But that’s impossible. They are too big and too empty. Together with breaking them, they are also delusional. They are so unhurriedly hanging to melt the black smoke from the big coal mine chimney and suck the smoke from the small chimney on the roof of the residents into the city. All the gases emitted by the city are mixed, stirred, collided and attached to each other, giving residents a burning smell. Take a sniff. It smells clear, like burnt plastic, like roasting pig skin, like a bad thing, more like wild fire.
But one more sniff and you won’t smell anything. It has become a part of life.
His truck was filed at the gate of the factory and the workers were blocked. The miners haven’t changed jobs yet. The searchlights are in their hands, and they are tired all day. They laugh a little. They say things in twos and threes and occasionally push the doors of the car. The women workers say some jokes. They should say it on purpose. They laugh wildly, thinking that maybe they can’t leave this gate and they will be buried in the coal sea. After crying, their families are waiting for the pension to live a good life.
He thought about it more than once in the truck, so some people honked their horns impatiently and finally made a way. When his car slowly passed the speed bump in front of the factory gate, it deliberately jolted the car severely, and the coal ash fell in the bucket, causing a burst of dissatisfaction. He whistled briskly.
Spring comes later, and the snow and ice have just melted away. Those who have survived a winter have long lost their white dignity and are covered and infiltrated by layers of falling dust. At this time, an assimilated black mud has occupied a road, making the city look even dirtier and decadent, just like a prostitute who just woke up, her clothes that never dry.